12 Tips for Overcoming Anger and Gaining Peace
by Remez Sasson
Anger appears when one is confronted with frustration, unhappiness or hurt feelings, or when plans don’t turn out as desired. It also shows up when coming against opposition or criticism.
Anger never helps anyone. It wastes your energy, and can hurt your health, spoil your relationships, and cause you to miss opportunities. Getting angry is acting against your best interests.
Things don’t always proceed according to plans and expectations. People not always act the way you wish them to act. You may not be always able to be in control of external influences and conditions, but you can certainly learn to control your attitude and reactions. There is no sense of allowing circumstances and people to pull your strings and affect your mind and feelings. You can choose not to let what people say and do affect your moods. You can maintain an inner attitude of emotional and mental detachment, and refuse to allow every minor event play with your feelings and evoke anger.
I often see people getting angry over unimportant and insignificant matters. Some insignificant remark or action, not getting a satisfactory reply to a question or just moodiness are enough to set fire and cause anger, snappy remarks, arguments and even physical fights. This is absolutely unnecessary. Life can be happier without this behaviour.
Anger is a negative reaction, and if you wish to progress on the path of self-improvement or spiritual growth you should avoid it as much as possible.
Learning to calm down the restlessness of the mind and gaining peace of mind, is one of the best and most effective methods to overcome anger, and in fact, all negative emotions.
If you are willing to invest the time and energy, you will reap great rewards. Peace of mind will not only help you overcome anger, but also help you overcome anxiety and negative thinking, and enable you to stay calm, tranquil and self possessed in difficult and trying situations.
Peace of mind requires the development of an attitude of emotional and mental detachment, which is of vital importance for overcoming and avoiding anger. It protects you against being too affected by what people think, say or do, and is therefore highly recommended. Detachment is not an attitude of indifference and lack of sensitivity. It is an attitude of common sense and inner strength and leads to peace of mind.
I would like to suggest a few simple tips for inner detachment and peace of mind, which will help you overcome anger:
1. Devote a few minutes, at least once a day, to thinking on how much your life would be better without anger.
2. When you feel anger arising in you, start breathing deeply and slowly several times.
3. You may, instead of breathing deeply, or better still, in addition to it, count slowly from one to ten. This will delay your angry reaction and weaken it.
4. Drinking some water has a calming effect on the body.
5. Try to be more patient, no matter how difficult it might be.
6. Be more tolerant toward people, even toward people you don’t like.
7. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. You can disagree with people, but still maintain tact and diplomacy.
8. Choose to react calmly and peacefully in every situation. Try again and again, regardless of how many times you lose control and get angry.
9. Positive thinking makes it easier to disregard remarks and behaviour that otherwise could cause anger.
10. Try to manifest at least some self-control, self-discipline and more common sense.
11. Don’t take everything too seriously. It is not worth it.
12. Find reasons to laugh more often.
© Copyright Remez Sasson
Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are “Peace of mind in Daily Life”, “Will Power and Self Discipline”, “Visualize and Achieve” and “Affirmations – Words of Power”.
Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm
1 comment
CBMills says:
September 18, 2011 at 1:41 pm (UTC 0)
Good try CJ!
My CD (see de Baldi’s definitions) started beeping loudly as soon as I read the title “…Overcoming Anger…”. A piece of me shrinks when I read this and no wonder – to overcome anger is to die!
Anger is a natural healthy human response. Specifically it is a response to us not getting what we want or think we deserve or think we’re entitled to. Its a friend to be welcomed. Without its warning signal we’d remain blissfully un-aware of our needs not being met. Yet its treated like a foe, an enemy to be looked out for and pounced on as soon as its detected (de Baldi is very familiar with this
).
Anger is not the thing to eradicate. Rather eradicate the eradication of anger. Like all foes the best way to rob it of all of its power is to embrace it. Yep, embrace anger, hear the message it intends and learn to act on that message in ways that serve your purpose and create alternative means to get what you want, have your needs met.
Anger will resolve itself, it will be gone and all you’ll be aware of is the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles to getting what you want – the experience of learning and growing.
So why is anger seen as such a bad thing? Good question – look out for my upcoming post….